MY WIFE'S HUSBAND
There are many roads in life
countless roads all manner of roads some straight some twisting some dead
ends some leading to milk and honey some of rocks thorns and stinging
nettles and you cannot choose which Providence places you on when you are
still in diapers with mother’s milk on your lips and then it happens that
your mother changes your diapers for the last time and spins you like a top
so that whatever side you land on that's the road you set out on not
knowing which side draws you onward or where it will lead but life wouldn’t
be precious or beautiful without a struggle.
And now I will tell you how as a child I was led through a
maze with both good and bad turns until I was dragged sixty kilometers to
the other side of Kajmakchalan where I grazed oxen on the gentle mountain
heard singing and weeping because in the village were births weddings the
beatings of drums hymns for one at the end of life a stone cross on a grave
in the village cemetery and there I learned to cry and it happened before
drums and songs were heard in our yard before I could bring some joy to my
father's and mother’s withered hearts as she departed suddenly for the
graveyard and then I don’t know how or where but I found a woman for myself
and we were bound to two-three children seemingly just like that but when
others excavate the road before you they don’t tell you which way it turns
so I was first in Ellas shoulder-to-shoulder with Greeks and we fought the
Germans and said we were doing so to have a rich ear of grain one kernel
for me and one for you and we had no chance to broadcast seeds in the
fields nor rip out the nettles and some returned their guns and bowed their
heads I think they hid in the cities so that their shadows would no longer
be seen in the mountains and I carried mine into a second obscurity as well
which ended without brotherhood because though we had liberated half the
country we carried away our children and spread them around the world we
scarred the land with graves we dressed mothers in black and instead of
granting freedom they took us to a ferry and pushed us into some trains and
they gave us away to the world and I’m telling you I wandered around some
in Romania and I loosened the threads between me and my wife who stayed
with the children at home I hoped the threads would become a rope that
would haul me back but as they say the paths of life are unknown as are the
paths of the heart and I became linked to a Pandora whom I knew since
childhood from the Kostur region and she brought two children with her from
Czechoslovakia or Poland and she knew nothing of her husband except that he
was critically wounded in the last battle and I said to her God have mercy
on Panajotis whom I used to know but whom life passed by never to return
and she did not contradict me but brought the kids into my little room and
after that I don’t know whether I continued sending and receiving messages
from the village I guess I forgot about them and I thought the way the
world is closed off these days why live only with hope let my wife find
someone and let them do as nature bids them do and after I hooked Pandora
on my waistband I thought of only one thing to cross the Romanian border
and reach Macedonia before the eyes of the world and not feel sorry that I
held a gun for so many years and trekked across mountains and I can tell
you that my heart flew out of my chest as we got off at the Skopje station
and I watched the people who indifferently went up and down left and right
everywhere they wanted and freely spoke our language and I stopped many of
them and I told them we came to live here and they just looked at us and
continued bustling here and there when we woke up with joy brimming to our
necks and we were in Butel somewhere near the cemetery in a pleasant wooden
house given to us and our children.
Our children weren’t our children but the children of Pandora
and Panajotis and if anything pained my heart it was that I couldn’t
reproduce with her that I didn’t become two or three more but I didn’t hold
it against Pandora nor blame myself because I could still lie with her like
a man but what could I do when my seed was withered and barren and I took
care of Panajotis' kids as if they were mine and they called me Dad sweetly
and warmly and before I left the trough that life had led me to I rolled up
my sleeves and I rebuilt the house with stone so that with the years it
would not be infested with woodworms while there was news that my kids
suffered in some foreign lands some Australia and some Canada just to feed
their old mother worn out by the times and not years and those were the
days when Greeks started appearing in Skopje more and more often with
passports signed by Papandreou they traded they listened and were alert to
meet somebody they fought with at Vicho at Gramos at Peloponnesus or with
the idea of not doing so and then my Pandora’s Panajotis also appeared
because his wounds had healed and then the islands and we didn’t know
because nobody told us he came several times and stayed with his people and
asked about Pandora and the kids and myself he even came to Butel to watch
the house he turned about hoping that he could see the kids and the dog
might’ve been lucky and seen them somewhere in front of the house on the
street or somewhere in town because if he had followed his own scent he
could easily discover it he came alone and he came with the brother of the
ones I care for and we would struggle with him no more he sent a message a
man entered our house and he told me and Pandora because the kids were not
in the room and he said Panajotis is well and alive having been nursed by
good female hands as his wounds healed and then he was sentenced and she
waited for him as he hauled rocks on the islands and now they are a husband
and wife and they take care of your child Pandora but he’ll die unless he
comes and sees how many he has with these two and he begs that we let him
come and what could Pandora and I say we told the man he was always welcome
and Panajotis' friend left with a gleam in his eyes and we moved about the
house to make a proper and warm welcome for my wife’s husband we cleaned
all the carpets we removed the dust from the most hidden corners we
scrubbed the windows and when Panajotis and his Gjorgjo appeared at the
gate there was as much light in our house as there was in us ourselves and
I took his hand I hugged him and Pandora looked him in the eyes for ages
while his Gjorgjo hugged his brothers already men and they became a single
ball that rolled around the house around life around the world as if they
had never been separated but out of all this joy I had only a small portion
when I and my Pandora’s Panajotis remembered the mountains where he marched
during the time of the civil war.
Rarely does a man host his wife’s husband and I had prepared
the best things including red wine and homemade brandy and Ohrid trout that
I myself placed in the oven with all kinds of herbs and I can tell you I
really prepared everything myself because my Pandora had a fever her hands
shook her body shook her legs shook and she cursed me so much for telling
that man that our house was open to Panajotis and when he entered and we
sat at the table to finish the brandy and history with some pickled things
Pandora came to herself and I let her do the work but more so she doesn’t
start grieving when this Gjorgjo leaves with his father again and as I
watched that dog Panajotis happy and why shouldn’t his face stretch with
joy when he has his children his wife around him in a house made of stone
to last for years some bitterness filled my mouth my throat was tense
because my children were in exile somewhere in the world and who knows how
the woman that bore them was doing and so I wouldn't yell out I hit
Panajotis on his shoulder a bit too hard I guess because my hand is heavy
he groaned and I told him let’s lift our glasses my friend to this pissy
life that shoves us around the world as it wants and I protect your Pandora
like a drop of water in my palm I don’t let a fly land on your kids you
know let’s drink that glass and have lunch and I told Pandora come oh woman
put the trout on the table and we moved from one table to another where the
dog Panajotis opened his mouth and stabbed me in the heart because he told
his Gjorgjo in Greek come on son let’s try this Serbian food and I felt my
hair rise up to the ceiling if he hadn't been in my house I don’t know what
I would’ve done I held off until lunch was over I didn’t say a single word
and I don’t know if he noticed that because he didn’t shut his mouth he
spoke of his life and how he had found Vangelica with whom he lived now but
when they were leaving the house at the door I grabbed the collar of his
coat I shook him well and quietly almost at his ear so that the children
his and mine couldn’t hear I told him you beast you donkey you goat didn't
we break our necks at Gramos at Vicho at Kajmakchalan for this you strike
at me about some Serbian food when I feed your children and now take your
leave and don’t cross my threshold again and we saw him and his Gjorgjo off
hugging each other according to custom and when I had him up to my chest I
understood that dog Panajotis wasn’t mad at me the way he squeezed me and
that he was thankful for my words and so they left and I and his wife
remained to live our lives together.
